ok- the pity party is over- no one was showing up anyway :)
Drinking my water and with DH's urging actually went to the gym and did 25 minutes of cardio on the bike. Not a lot, but more than I have been and that is the goal.
I had someone tell me, while I was having the party, that it isn't about being "good" or "bad", it is about being better. I like that! THANK YOU!